How Struggling with My body Makes Me Feel Like a Fraud

As a personal trainer, it's easy to assume that I have health and fitness all figured out. That couldn't be further from the truth.

For many years I have and still have issues with my weight. My stomach is my most insecure place. They used to call my cousin pudgy.

When I look at half of my childhood photos I can see that shame on my face.

Wearing a size 12 at 12, I knew I was in for a growth spurt. When I grew to six feet by 8th grade, on the outside the weight wasn’t as big of an issue anymore. To me, I still felt like that chubby kid.

Steven standing in a doorway
Me in classic Steven photo posing form

I Found Refuge in food, Then Felt Trapped By It

In high school I finally felt like I had it under control. I started cooking for myself, picked up formal exercise and lost some weight.

When I began playing sports in college, my body was not under my control for a few years. I began binging.

This constant struggle with junk food, my weight, and how I feel inside is what I think helps me relate to clients. Sometimes I feel like an imposter when I give someone advice on how much they should eat.

We all know that vegetables are important (thanks food pyramid). Knowledge isn’t the struggle.

Every diet works, it’s dealing with the emotional reasons behind why you’re dieting in the first place. Anyone who follows me on social media knows I occasionally love an Oreo or six…or a pack in a sitting.

I love eating healthy food because it makes me feel good.

Over time, I’ve been able to reel back in and I finally feel like I have a grasp on myself.

Today I get to work with people to help them find that place too.